Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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