I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
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