How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize