Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
