I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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