Sober January is a disaster.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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