Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
