he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
40s are totally the cure
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize