Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
