Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Of course I have a pirate flag
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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