It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
