btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
