just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
