I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
