One girl and one boy is just not enough.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
