So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
