Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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