Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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