You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
