U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
