It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
