I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
So apparently I’m into choking now
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