in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
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