so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
i want to swaddle you in tequila
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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