The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Randomize
