hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I think weed is turning my hair brown
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
