No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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