Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
