I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
