There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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