I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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