I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
