Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Randomize
