Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
