you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
