I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
The ass gains better be worth it
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