I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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