Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
