Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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