everyone is single if you try hard enough
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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