u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
At least make sure they are 18
Why
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
