I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
