At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
