Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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