do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
