it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
