you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
