I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
We need to rekindle our bromance
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
