I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
