I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
