i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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