I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
