Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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