This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Randomize
