that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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