You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
