gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
