Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
