ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
