I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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