you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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