the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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