So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
