If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
