Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
