Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
