what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
