Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
