haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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