WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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