Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
