I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
