she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
