new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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