I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
