Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize