your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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