shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
